被滥用的“延迟满足”，正在一步步毁掉孩子，还不以为...
<p data-track="23" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“延迟满足”一词广为人知，源于知名的“棉花糖实验”。实验内容是，让几十名儿童待在有糖果的屋子里，并告诉他们眼前的糖果可以随时吃，但若能等到研究人员回来再吃，可以多获得糖果。最后实验人员再对那些能够延迟对糖果欲望的孩子进行跟踪调查，结果发现这些孩子在学业、人际关系方面的表现更优秀。</p><p data-track="2" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">现在的家长教育孩子，比较讲究科学方法。“延迟满足”对孩子的人生发展有帮助，有家长就摩拳擦掌，也想在孩子的身上试一试。前几天，有朋友说，她正在对孩子进行“延迟满足”训练。比如，每次孩子放学，她都为孩子准备美味的零食，但是有一个要求，就要等到吃完饭以后再吃，如果孩子偷偷吃就会受到惩罚，希望能提高孩子的自控能力......</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span><br style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"/></p><p data-track="3" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">生活中 ，存在“延迟满足”被滥用的现象</strong></p><p data-track="4" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">家长故意创造条件诱惑孩子，然后打压孩子的欲望，要求孩子按照自己的想法服从。这种教育方法，美名其名曰“延迟满足训练”。但是，因为家长不尊重孩子，代替孩子决定要不要延迟满足自己的需求，还一言不合惩罚孩子，这对孩子来说是不公平的，跟霸权没什么两样。</p><p data-track="5" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">家长能意识到“延迟满足”是一种好的能力，难能可贵。但是，真正的“延迟满足”能力是，一种可以为了更有价值的结果，主动放弃掉即时满足能力。它<typo data-origin="是人主动" ignoretag="true" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">是人主动</typo>的、心甘情愿的。如果把“延迟满足”理解成压制人的欲望就是在滥用。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></p><p data-track="6" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“延迟满足”被滥用的结果</strong></p><p data-track="7" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果家长滥用“延迟满足”。比如，孩子提出想要干什么，家长故意为难孩子，让孩子跟自己的欲望抗争一段时间，然后再满足孩子。这种不顾孩子想法和需求的行为，只会产生不好的后果。</p><p data-track="8" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">①孩子的感受长期被忽视，性格容易变得自卑懦弱</strong></p><p data-track="9" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“延迟满足”的主体是孩子，孩子有权决定愿不愿意为了更有价值的结果，暂时放弃自己的需求。整个过程应该孩子是主动的、自愿的、自由的，不能受人干涉。</p><p data-track="10" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果家长一厢情愿地替孩子决策，要求孩子压抑内心的本性，并不给孩子选择的自由。孩子就会感觉被忽视，被父母控制的痛苦，渐渐地性格变得自卑懦弱，将来走上社会容易被人欺负。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></p><p data-track="11" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">②<typo data-origin="孩子需求" ignoretag="true" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">孩子需求</typo>总得不到满足，会变得没有安全感</strong></p><p data-track="12" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">人生来就有各种各样的需求，饿了就想要寻找食物，渴了就想要喝水，困了就需要睡觉，空虚无聊了就会有精神需求，寻找人生的意义。人只有在需求得到满足的时候，才会获得幸福感。所以，家长对孩子进行“延迟满足”训练，要尊重孩子的需求。</p><p data-track="13" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">拿孩子夜里怕黑需要人陪伴举例，如果家长忽视孩子的需求，控制自己的恐惧，或者学会等待，等家长有时间再陪他。孩子的需求总是得不到满足，就会变得没有安全感。家长的“延迟训练”也变得没有意义。</p><p data-track="14" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">③孩子对世界的信任感被破坏，人生态度变得消极</strong></p><p data-track="15" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">“延迟满足”的价值在于让孩子学会控制自己的欲望，为了成功或者好的结果，可以多一些耐心等待。当“延迟满足”被滥用时，家长故意为孩子设置障碍，考验孩子，孩子就会觉得世界不是友善的，充满了试探和考验，孩子的人生态度就会变得消极。今后，孩子遇到困难容易后退，收到别人的好意也会总是怀疑，慢慢错过很多幸福。</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></p><p data-track="16" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何正确地对孩子进行“延迟满足”？</strong></p><p data-track="17" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">具备“延迟满足”能力的孩子，是非常理性的，不会轻易被眼前小的利益吸引，放弃大的追求。所以，家长可以培养孩子的“延迟满足”，但是要注意方式和方法：</p><p style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></span></p><p data-track="18" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">①设立有价值的目标，让孩子主动推迟自己的需求，获得更大的利益。</strong>家长训练孩子“延迟满足”时，要给孩子设立有价值的目标。比如，孩子感冒生病还没好，就要吃冰淇凌。家长要告诉孩子，吃冰淇凌的话，病情加重就要吃药打针；但是如果暂时忍住不吃冰淇凌，过几天病好了，可以吃很多冰淇凌，家长还会奖励玩具。家长设立有价值的目标，让孩子主动推迟自己的需求，孩子遇事就会学会权衡和思考，做出正确的选择。</p><p data-track="19" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; white-space: normal; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important; overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">②给孩子选择的自由，舍得让孩子为自己的选择付出代价。</strong>作为家长，懂得人世间有很多诱惑，需要用理性抵制，才能收获到长久的幸福。但是，孩子年龄小，没有真正吃过亏，是不理解的。所以，培养孩子“延迟满足”的能力，家长要允许孩子犯错，并让孩子为自己的选择付出代价，孩子才会真正成长起来。</p><p><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: justify; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">文|秘籍君</span></p><link rel="stylesheet" href="//www.fqlook.cn/source/plugin/wcn_editor/public/wcn_editor_fit.css?v134_cr5" id="wcn_editor_css"/>
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